Now I Know My ABCs
by blank canvas of me
Summary: "The human whose name is written in this coloring book...shall get a boo-boo." Or in which the Death Note gang just started Kindergarten. One-shot.


**Now I Know My ABCs:**

Misa Amane was scared.

She was usually a bright and confident child. A beautiful one, with long, shiny blonde hair tied up in two long pigtails, her brown eyes framed by thick, dark lashes, casting shadows over her thin cheekbones. She often went out of her way to make new friends, (or enemies) and would always be bubbly and playful to everyone. If they showed signs of vexation, she did too. Misa was not the type of girl to put up with people who disliked her, and vise-versa. But as the bus pulled up, screeching and big, she shrunk against her mother's leg, latching herself on. It was her first day of Kindergarten, and the nerves seemed to have unleashed a whiny monster in September's wake.

Mrs. Amane sighed as she fruitlessly attempted to pry her blonde daughter off her leg. "Misa is a big girl, yes?" The six year old stared up at her mother through unshed tears, whimpering and nodding after a moment of consideration. She gawked uncertainly at the bus, which sat in the front of her mansion, patiently awaiting for her to get on.

"Misa is a big girl now!" she chirped, her expression brightening, but her brown eyes were wary as she glanced at the giant, yellow monster in front of her. "But Misa is scared, mommy! It looks so mean!"

"I promise it's not," her mother sighed, ushering the skinny girl towards the entrance of the bus. Misa readjusted her hold on her black, lacy backpack, fidgeting nervously and tugging on the hem of her gothic skirt. "Be a good girl. Do what the teacher tells you to do. Have a good day, sweetheart." Misa's mother planted a kiss to her forehead, and with another ginger push, the six year old made her way up the steps, cringing at the bearded bus driver who cast a look of distaste her way. The doors swung shut. It seemed that if someone was standing there, it would've sawed them in half. The little girl shuddered at the thought, blinking back tears that pricked at the corners of her eyes. Why had she listened to her mommy? She wanted her mommy. She didn't want to go on such an unruly bus. It smelled like sweat and bananas. Misa liked bananas, but the stench was foul.

"C'mon, kid! I don't got all day!" She climbed up the next step as the bus pulled away, nearly knocking her to the floor. She took a seat nervously next to a pale, black-haired boy, who was intently biting away at his thumb. He glanced at her, but merely shrugged in response, and went back to staring out the window.

It seemed that school had begun.

* * *

><p>"Light," his mother ruffled the boy's hair, running another brush through his brown hair. She licked her finger and flattened a hair that was sticking up, causing Light to cringe. "My handsome boy! Are you ready for Kindergarten?" His younger sister Sayu sat beside them, chewing and drooling all over a toy, her brown eyes fixated on the TV screen in front of them.<p>

Light nodded, pulling on one of his trusting of smiles. _Oh, he was ready alright. Everything was going exactly as he planned..._

Mrs. Yagami fixed his tie, beaming with approval at how handsome her six year old son looked in that suit. With his hair slicked back, he looked just like his father. Soichiro Yagami brushed his wife's hands away, but the proud smile was evident on his face. "That looks just fine, dear. You don't want to smother the boy." Mrs. Yagami nodded, tears sprouting from her eyes. Light let out a sigh as his mother continued with her meaningless dramatics. He would just be gone for six hours. It wasn't as if he was leaving the family forever, though with the broken-hearted look on her face, it sure seemed that way.

"I know, I know! It's just so sad! My little baby boy is growing up!" She wrapped her arms tightly around Light, kissing him all over his forehead. Squeezed in the crook of his mother's neck, Light scowled. His mother was smothering. Simply smothering. That wouldn't do at all, not if he wanted to take over Kindergarten. His mother didn't pull away after a few more minutes. She was going to ruin his perfect hair! He took the liberty of yanking gently away, and his mother nodded, brushing the wetness away with the palm of her hand. Light's jaw tightened as his father then proceeded to wrap him in yet another hug. Sayu clapped clumsily, giggling in amusement at her brother's annoyance.

After his father let go, his mother opened the door.

"I don't know if I can do this!" she wailed pathetically, and Light gritted his teeth. "How can I just send my baby boy away to that school? What if someone bullies him? What if someone ruins his hair? What if he gets hurt? What if-"

"Honey, calm down," Soichrio consoled with a gentle smile. "It'll be fine. He'll be back before you know it; I'm sure he'll make plenty of friends."

There was a squeak as the bus turned up to their house.

His wife burst into tears at the sight of it.

Light kissed his sister's forehead, hugged his mother and his father, then walked out the door.

Finally.

His first taste of freedom away from those morons.

* * *

><p>Watari shoved the cake away from the boy's grasp, who pouted immediately and scrambled upward to make a swipe for it. The man pulled it out of the boy's reach, just before his fingertips could make a desperate grab for it. "L, you know that cake isn't good for breakfast." Watari placed a firm hand on his shoulder, tugging him back into his seat. "And I know you love sitting that way, but you might want to begin to sit normally. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the teachers might find it incorrect." L's eyebrows pinched together at the old man's words, glowering in stubbornness as he attempted to reach again. "You're going to develop a hunch-back if you keep this up."<p>

"If that's the case," the six year old responded in a dry tone, "Then I'm sure there are plenty of chiropractor's to remove it. The surgeries nowadays are very safe and efficient."

Watari huffed in irritation, raking a hand through his going-grey hair. It really was unfair when a child starting Kindergarten was smarter than you, or of equal intelligence. "That's not the point, L."

L jut his jaw in impatience as Watari put down a bowl of brand cereal, his eyes dark and bottomless. It looked like bird seed and he hissed at the sight of no sugar or fruit, biting down on his tongue to keep from having a hissy fit. He was going into Kindergarten, after all. No more tears or tantrums, although he wanted to slam his fists repeatedly on the table and burst into tears. He was now a grown up- the time for childish acts of naïvety were over. "Then what is the point, if I may ask?" he quipped respectively, eyes interlocking with the television. A popular show was playing called _Blue's Clues_. Honestly, the main characters on the show were idiots. Blue was okay, but the human, Steve, couldn't even spot out a bright blue paw print that contrasted with the bright red room. It was exhausting, really, watching his ignorance play out every single week. The only reason he kept watching was because L enjoyed solving the (easy) puzzles the show was about. Maybe he would be a detective when he grew up. Watari had told him countless times that he was rather good at outsmarting Blue and Steve, before the dog could even yelp in amusement.

"The point is-" he stopped. "The point is that you must- uh..." After thinking about it for a moment, Watari slid away the cereal and replaced it with the chocolate cake. "I suppose there is no point."

L smiled, taking a small fraction of the sweet in his hands and chewing it in his mouth.

"Your school supplies are all here," Watari read off the list. "All except crayons. I couldn't find any in the store."

L arched an eyebrow. What kind of store didn't sell crayons? "I can live without them. However, if every other child has a package, I might cry."

"That is understandable."

He just finished his double layered chocolate cake when a large sound resounded from outside. Watari peered beneath the blinds. "Ah, that would be the school bus. Time to go."

L grabbed his back pack and swung it over his shoulder, resting it on his plain, white t-shirt.

"Ah, L?"

He turned, expressionless.

"You might want to put on shoes."

"Is it part of the rules?"

"No, but it's proper-"

"I will start wearing shoes when they add that rule. Until then, I will remain shoeless."

Watari nodded, opening the door. "Good luck at school."

"There is a sixty percent probability that I will either get picked on, bullied, or find that everyone in my class is an idiot." Watari rolled his eyes and walked the boy out to the bus.

L got on the bus in compliance and took the first seat he saw open.

It would truly be a long day.

* * *

><p>"I'm Misa," she introduced to the boy with the black-like eyes. "What's your name?" Her mommy had told her it was nice to do when introducing yourself.<p>

"L."

"L?" she giggled. "Like the letter?"

"Exactly."

"I can SING the alphabet," she burst, her eyes shining with excitement as she glanced at L, who at the moment, seemed uninterested.

"How fascinating."

"You WANT to hear me sing it?" she questioned, though it sounded more like a plea.

"No, not really-"

"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY AND Z! NOW I KNOW MY ABCS, NEXT TIME WON'T YOU SING WITH ME?" She laughed loudly after she finished, poking L on the face. He scowled. "You look funny. Where's your shoes? Why are your eyes black?"

L wanted to tell Misa that her voice was terribly off-key when she sung, and however pretty her dress was, it didn't match with her bodies' frame. Furthermore, it was technically impossible for someone's eyes to be black since the cornea can't-

"Who is _that_?" He looked up at the girl's incredulous voice, her eyes hazy and dazed. A small fire flamed against her cheeks as she showed her smile, cooing and swooning. Her hands came up to her chest as she blushed further, her eyes interlocked permanently on the back row of the bus. "He's so handsome! He's so perfect! I've never seen someone so beautiful in my life!" Her black painted nails came up to hold her red cheeks as she sighed in contentment. "Oh, his eyes. They're so brown."

L twitched at her loud, rather annoying voice, but curiosity won over and he looked over the seat nonetheless. There, sitting with the big boys, was a six year old the same age as them, conversing in a conversation. Occasionally he would grin slyly, or rearrange his tie like an OCD person. His hair was shiny, perfectly slicked to the side, and he wore a brown suit. _There's something about him...something that I don't like_. "I do not know who that is, Misa."

"Maybe he'll be in our class! Ooh, I hope so! Maybe he'll be my boyfriend!"

L chewed on his thumb, trying to contain his words. The unknown boy's brown eyes flittered up and met both their gazes, Misa's dumbstruck and L's intimidating. When the bus pulled to another stop, he got up and came over to them, much to L's irritation. Misa looked like she was about to pass out when he sat across from them, throwing her a pearly white smile. "Hello. My name is Light Yagami."

"M-my name is M-misa Amane."

His lips curled into a grin. "It's nice to meet you, Misa."

Misa's expression brightened like a Christmas tree. "How did you go to the back of the bus where all the big kids are?"

Light shrugged, like he hadn't the slightest idea. "I don't know. The fifth graders seem to like me." The boy finally seemed to acknowledge L. "Hello. What's your name?"

"L."

"L? Like the letter?" He sounded dubious. L nodded. "That's a _stupid _name."

L blinked, obviously unbothered by his words. "You do realize that your last name backwards is im-a-gay."

Light's frown deepened. "Whatever," he scoffed, his tone wavering. His eyes suddenly glinted a bright, evil red when he attempted to control his anger at L's comment. When he looked back at the pair again, his charming expression was back. "It was nice to meet you both. Especially you, Misa."

Misa flushed furiously, stuttering as he winked at her.

L merely glared as Light walked back to his original seat, head held high. "There is now a twenty percent probability that Light is manipulating you."

"I don't know what either of those words mean- but I like Light! I could never live in a world without Light!"

"Yes, that would be quite dark."

L said nothing for the rest of the trip to school, though Misa's ramblings continued.

* * *

><p>It was chaotic when Light stepped off the bus, breathing in the fresh air of September. He stared at the school. It was big and intimidating, but it didn't frighten Light the slightest. He held his ground, the corner of his lip twitching upward lopsidedly. "Soon," he mused, "This school will be <em>mine<em>." He began to laugh psychotically, though no one seemed to notice as he tipped his head back to giggle insanely, eyes gleaming red. After he was finished, he grabbed onto the strap of his book bag and followed the stream of kids into the school. He darted hastily away to avoid getting slammed to the ground. One of the fifth graders was repeatedly slamming a scrawny boy's face into the dirt. Light glowered as he took in other surroundings. Girls were pulling each other's hair, boys were giving out wet-willies to unsuspecting victims, and a giant fourth grader was stealing lunch money from a little girl. _This school...it's rotten. _

Something had to be done about that.

* * *

><p>Misa had latched onto L the moment they climbed off the bus, refusing to let go of his arm. It wasn't like she could survive on her own here! Misa needed a friend or else who knows what could happen to her! L attempted pulling his arm away from hers, but she kept her grip tightly. He was an odd boy, but her mommy told her that she needed to be nice to everyone. And besides, he was her first real friend! Whether it was one-sided or not, Misa was not going to let go. If she did, one of the fifth graders could beat her up! She could be trampled by the crowd! L was weird, and she doubted he would be her friend for long, but for right now, he was all Misa had.<p>

"Could you let go now?" L inquired once they were standing in front of the double doors.

"No."

* * *

><p>Misa Amane wouldn't let go of him. He wanted to tell her that he was just as useless as she was against the big kids, only he had a useable brain, but L wondered if that would work, or simply just make her angry. He tried forcibly removing his arm from her grasp, but the little girl had a death grip. Eventually, noting that in no time soon would she stop clinging to him, he would have to put up with it until the right moment. So he did.<p>

After searching through the crowd and finding no classroom, he approached a tall woman.

"Excuse me?" He asked the grown up. "I was wondering where Mrs. Keller's class is."

Her eyes flittered down, smiling when she noted Misa and L's tiny height and innocent expressions. "Oh! Is this your first day of school?" she cooed in a baby voice.

"There is no need to speak like that."

The teacher didn't seem to notice her antics. "Well, may I see your sheet of paper, honey?"

L stared at her blankly, but eventually reached inside his back pack and pulled it out. She read it for a moment, before taking hold of L's hand and dragging him away, blabbering the entire way to their classroom. Misa kept her tight grip and only pulled away when they were inside. "WOW!" she burst. "THIS ROOM IS BI-AG. OOH, L! LOOK AT THAT! THERE'S A DOLLHOUSE!"

L nearly sighed in relief as she scurried away to go examine the pink, plastic toy. He watched the girl until she was kneeling down and playing with the other girls before taking a seat at one of the tables, hunching upward.

"You needed a teacher to show you the way?" A voice asked from behind him. He turned. There was Light, smirking in arrogance. "I found it all by myself."

L continued to bite down on his nail. "Good for you."

Light stared at him incredulously. "Why are you sitting like that?"

"It improves my intelligence by at least ten percent."

"That's stupid."

"Is that the only word you know of?"

"I know plenty of words," Light snapped heatedly, stomping his foot on the rug. L didn't respond, staring at the brunette momentarily before he walked away and joined some of the other boys in the other side of the room. L rolled his eyes, rubbing his bare toes together.

After about five minutes, the teacher clapped her hands together loudly. "Alright, students! Can I have all eyes on me?" Twenty-two eyes flashed upward to the woman with the warm, yet tired smile. "Good, good. You see those desks over there? Please, take a seat."

Unfortunately for L, Misa instantly came running up to him and took the seat closest to him. Five minutes later, (it seemed that most of the students were incapable of following easy instructions) the aspiring detective was stuck with Misa Amane, Light Yagami, a boy named Matsuda, and Near and Mellow. The albino-looking boy who sat similar to L was stacking up dominos into a miniature tower. The teacher came up to him a few moments later to take them away. "Nate, now is not play-time."

Near glared at her. "Mine."

"Not yours," Mrs. Keller reached to take them away.

"MINE."

She raked a hand through her hair in frustration. "Are we going to have a problem, Mr. Rivers?"

He grumbled something more about it being 'his,' and stuffed the rest of the toys down his white shirt. The teacher stood there, hands planted on her hips, but eventually she let out a sigh of defeat. It seemed she would handle it later.

"I'm going to be passing out pieces of paper to all of you!" The teacher chimed optimistically. "I would like all of you to draw a picture of yourself to hang on the wall."

She began to pass the papers away, leaving L stuck with five children who didn't seem normal.

* * *

><p>After an hour of hissy fits between Near and Mello, Matsuda crying for his mother, Misa constantly asking Mello why he was dressed like a girl and if Light would be her girlfriend, and Light and L's bantering, eventually they were released onto the playground. Light made his way to the jungle-gym, veering from his other classmates. Truth be told, they all lacked intelligence. Near seemed to have potential, but the others seemed to be brain-dead, with the exception of L. The raccoon-looking boy was a possible threat to Light, and he needed to remove him as quickly as possible. The kids would follow him, not L. They had to. He could use Misa and Matsuda easily to his advantage. Matsuda just wanted someone to guide him, while the blonde-haired model appeared to be hopelessly in love with him. They were already dating, and it hadn't even been a full two hours of school. It was completely one-sided, of course. As if someone as perfect as him would bother with someone as stupid as her. Sure, she was beautiful, but all-in-all, he would never be seen with someone as stupid as her. It just wasn't logical.<p>

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, walking around the outer line of the playground. No one bothered with the swings, so he took a seat on one. He could hear Misa calling his name in a whiny tone, but he ignored her, despite how her voice made him want to slam shards of glass into each of his ear's.

His eyebrows furrowed when he spotted a coloring book laying in the middle of the field. He cast a hesitant look to L and Near, who seemed to be involved in a serious discussion, and slipped away from their eye-sight to go investigate. He picked it up, flipping it open to the first page. Written in crayon over an uncolored puppy was a set of rules:

_**Write the name of a person in this coloring book, and that person will get a boo-boo. **_

Light frowned. What a stupid prank.

Still...It'd be reasonable to try it out. Right?

Picking up the red crayon beside it, he scribbled the name of Matsuda in it.

_**You must imagine the person's face while writing there name for this to take effect. **_

He stared at the boy across the playground who was now climbing the monkey-bars.

**_This will take effect in forty seconds. _**

**_Details of their boo-boo must be written in the next six minutes. _**

He glanced down at his watch.

Forty seconds had passed.

He sighed, closing the book. He knew that it had been fake-

"OW!"

A chilling scream resounded through the playground as Matsuda's fingers (dramatically) slipped from one of the monkey bars he was attempting to swing to. Down he fell. The boy scraped his knee.

A boo-boo.

Light's eyes widened. It had...worked?

If that was the case, then he had just intentionally hurt someone. Tears flooded into his brown eyes.

_No...this is exactly what I was thinking about earlier. This school is rotten. Someone needs to pass rightful judgment on the good and the evil. And with this coloring book, I can! I can be justice! I will defend the weak and punish the evil! I...AM...JUSTICE! _

He laughed, tucking the coloring book underneath the slide. No one would find it there.

As they walked back in, Mello volunteering to take Matsuda to the nurse, he shared his own private grin.

Oh, yes. He truly would be justice.

* * *

><p>Over the next few weeks, the big boys were punished severely will boo-boos. Some children from his own class were even hurt. The worst case had been a sprained wrist that a fifth grade had received after Light had written his name in the coloring book. The school was beginning to grow paranoid. Finally, a higher class student had decided that someone was passing rightful judgment on the good and the bad. Word spread quickly, like wild-fire, and he had received the name Kira. It was based off an English word, the word meaning 'killer.' Obviously Light couldn't kill. He could only maim and give boo-boos that required Sponge-Bob bandages from the nurse. Still. The power felt good. He thrived on it, and the bigger he fed it, the stronger he became. The injuries grew worse. And who knows? Maybe one day Light could possess a coloring book that allows someone to kill. Imagine that.<p>

"I am Ryuk, the owner of that coloring book."

A chibi Shinigami stood in front of him. After Light had gotten over his quick shock, along with an alarmed yelp, (drawing in the attention of L and Near) he calmed down."Hello, chibi Shinigami. My name is Light."

A chubby boy laughed and pointed at Light. It took him a moment to realize that it was just Mello. Apparently he had eaten too much chocolate and had grown miles and miles of endless flab. "HA! YOU HAVE AN IMAGINARY FRIEND? WHAT A LOOOOSEEERR." He chomped on his Hershey bar, brown specks flying everywhere in the process.

Light clenched and unclenched his jaw to keep his composure. He turned to glare at the boy (who was starting to look exceedingly like a girl every day) but he had already grown uninterested with Light's 'imaginary' friend. His glower went unnoticed by Mello, who was in the middle of kicking Near off the bench and proceeded to cackle like a banshee. Something had to be done about Mello. He was the most infuriating person Light had ever met, along-side Misa, who would not stop latching onto his arm like a leech.

"LIGHHHHT!"

Speak of the devil.

Ryuk was tiny, like a pixie, and he spread his wings before settling on Light's shoulder. His squeaky voice chuckled as Misa came over and nearly tackled him to the ABC rug. "Light, Light, Light! LOOK WHAT I FOUND?"

She zipped open her black purse and fished out a coloring book. Light's eyes widened in response. It was the same coloring book as his. L was casting them curious glances, so he gripped onto Misa and led her away.

Once they were in the farthest corner of the classroom, Misa took a seat on the chair. Light sat across from her, frowning.

"I knew you were Kira!" she announced with a smile, battering her long lashes shyly. "I just knew it. After that fifth grade girl teased me for my clothes, she got hurt."

Light, still pressing his lips together into a firm line, placed a finger on his chin. "And how did you manage to connect that to me?"

This wasn't good. And judging by the way Ryuk was giggling and dancing across his shoulder, he knew that too. Misa was an idiot. She knew that he was Kira, and could easily spread the word to the other classrooms. It would be all over for him then. His parents would know that he wasn't the innocent angel that they deduced him as, and they would quite possibly send him away. But Misa was infatuated with him. She was border-line stalking him. She would do anything for him. He simply had to continue to string her along. He had to make her believe that he was just as in love with her as she was with him. If he made her angry, if he slipped up, then she could very well expose him. Something told Light that it wouldn't matter if she was exposed. Misa didn't care about her reputation, and by the clothes she wore, she appeared to be rich. She could always just transfer schools.

Light, on the other hand...this was his chance.

He couldn't deny Misa. He had to accept her help and hold faith in her, as little (he meant _little) _of a fraction as it was.

"You never made the eye deal, did you? When you accept the eye deal from the chibi Shinigami, people's boo-boos grow red all along their body. However, you cannot see anyone's boo-boos if you have a coloring book."

Light stared at Ryuk.

He scratched the back of his hair sheepishly and laughed. "Heh. Even I didn't know about that particular detail."

Rolling his eyes, he leaned foreward and brushed his fingers against her coloring book. He blinked once more and a chibi shinigami rested on her shoulder. Misa brightened and made introductions, but Rem didn't smile. He didn't expect her to, with the way her personality clashed with Ryuk's, but she appeared to detest him. Just another problem added with the appearance of Misa.

He turned back to Misa. "So now you've found me. But you were careless. What if you were caught by L or any of the other classmates?"

Her eyes turned desperate, filling with brandish tears. "But I wasn't caught! Why are you doing this to me? If you still can't trust me..." she thrust out the book to him, causing Light's eyes to widen. "Then here! I'll even let you hold onto my coloring book! But you'd only be holding. So that means I'd still be the rightful owner of it and keep my chibi eyes." She glanced uncertainly up at Rem. "Isn't that right?"

Rem nodded, resting against the crook of the girl's neck. "Yes, that's right."

She looked hopefully back at him, eyes shining with happiness. "There. Now there's no way I'll be able to expose you. Even if I do, there would never be any proof. And if I become too much of a burden to you, just give me boo-boos!"

Light's eyes went wider, his eyes flashing in disbelief. Why would she go this far? Why? Was it her undying love and affection for him? Or was it something more? The child genius considered his questions momentarily before gazing steadily back at the skinny girl. "Still. You could've ripped some of the pages of the coloring book out." As the weeks went on, he began to experiment with the coloring book. Even if you tore uncolored pictures out, it would still be effective. He wouldn't be so overly cautious if it wasn't for Near and L's consistent persistency. They were suspicious of him. And while they were both rather intelligent, L was superior. Near was manipulative to get what he wanted. Cruel if he had to be. He got arrogant and cocky if he was a few steps ahead. L was different. He was always calm (and stuffing his face with candy and sugar, but that wasn't relevant) and grinning that dopey grin of his, almost like L knew something that Light didn't. It unnerved him, made him lose his game. The two of them together (Mello didn't do much) would be difficult to overcome. But whenever his confidence wavered, he had to remind himself that he was the one with the coloring book.

He was Kira.

He was _justice_.

Ever since the Elementary School had grown known of his existence, everyone had been behaving well. Even the teachers. They were all on their best behavior. Bullying ceased to exist. Lunches were quiet. The paranoia was what Light truly fed on. They were all fearful of him, glancing over their shoulders and panicking when they did something slander-like. They did what pleased him. He decided who was good and who was evil. And if they did anything wrong, he gave them boo-boos. It was that simple. News was spreading to the Middle School and the High Schools in his district. Soon, maybe, if he dared to long for that, it would spread to the entire world. Some kids even hailed him as God.

He would be God of the new school.

Staring back at him, Misa's eyes flashed crimson. For a moment, he was frightened that he had already set her off. She was already edgy that Light didn't trust her (he really didn't) and the six year old didn't want to push her further. Instead, her anger dissipated and her eyes shone with unwanted tears. "Why are you doing this to me? Don't you trust me? You are my boyfriend! If you want to give me boo-boos, then just do it! You can use me and I won't mind."

Light refrained from sighing. He placed two hands on her small shoulders. "Misa. It isn't that I don't trust you. I don't trust-" he looked up at L, who was watching them carefully and biting his thumb. Light knew that they were out of ear-shot, but he nearly shrank from his gaze. "I don't trust L. Or Near."

"L. I sit with him on the bus. We're friends."

Great. More problems.

"But I could take care of him for you if you want. He trusts me."

Huh. Looks like she was smarter than he thought.

Light had already attempted to write Near and L's name in his coloring book, in an attempt to scare them away from the truth, but it hadn't succeeded. Finally, he decided that their names had to be false. That was the only reasonable, accurate hypothesis to why the coloring book wasn't working.

"Hm. Yes. But you need a name-"

"I already know his name!" she chimed. "You see, when you get the chibi eyes you are able to see everyone's names."

This time he narrowed his eyes at Ryuk.

"Guess I forgot to mention that little detail too. Whoopies."

Ignoring his chibi Shinigami, he smirked back at Misa. Yes. She already knew his name. She could tell him L's name and then he could give him enough boo-boos to cause him to be absent from school...for a whole day.

Light's smirk widened. How perfect.

He turned back to his 'girlfriend.' "Okay. I trust you. Can you tell me what L's name is?"

Misa shifted uncomfortably beside him, sliding her black Mary-Jane's off. "Well, uh, you see..."

"What?" he demanded, perhaps harsher than usual.

"I can't say L's name."

His smirk faded. "What do you mean you can't say his name?"

"I, uh, can't p-prouncey it."

"You can't _pronounce_ it?"

"Yes! That's the word."

Gritting his teeth, he pinched the bridge of his nose. _Don't lose it. Don't lose it. Don't lose it. _

"That's okay, Misa," he pulled her into a tight hug, much to Rem's annoyance. "You know your ABCs, right?"

She nodded her head eagerly. "Right!"

"So you can spell the name out, right?"

"Right!" Misa proclaimed, although her voice was laced in hesitance. "I promise I'll try my best, Light! I do love you!"

She buried her face into his shoulder, her hands coming up to hug his shirt.

Sure, there were a few kinks in his plan, but everything should work out.

What's the worse thing that could happen?

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue: <strong>

Everything worked out smoothly. Kind of. Light managed to get rid of L for a whole day, then Mello, but unfortunately, Near figured it out. He wasn't sure how. Light had left it so secretively under the slide at the playground. Afterwards, Near had tattled on the teacher like the little baby he was. Light was expelled from Kindergarten and Misa grew sad because of this. She then indulged herself in food, only to get obese like Mello.

L, on the other hand, found a mysterious coloring book on the playground.

**_Write the name of a person, and you shall receive their cookie from snack-time. _**

Looks like the first month of school was turning out to be much more interesting than he thought.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I was planning on writing more, but then I decided against it. So, this is a pretty goofy and pointless topic, but I got bored and just wrote it for fun, which is something that I haven't done in a long time. Hopefully it was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write it. Reviews, follows, and favorites are always appreciated! **


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